Based on our research with remote working couples here is our guideline for working from home as a couple. Whether you’re living and working with your partner, spouse, relative, sibling, best friend or domestic partner these coping strategies are universally beneficial.
For starters, in discussing the challenges you might face. you and your partner will need to agree on an answer to these type of questions plus a dozen or so more. Communication is paramount.
Communicate well and communicate often. Be frank, but kind. Tell each other exactly what you want and need from the other person to get your work done and feel sane. Since neither of you lives with a psychic, you both have to express yourselves clearly. If you have a need share it. Respect the needs of your co-working partner. If you have an idea share it. Collaborate to figure out your work spaces and a a routine that takes into account the nature of the work you both do as well as home and family responsibilities. Consider the pros and cons of taking turns. Consider concerns like privacy, or what you will do when you need time to work totally undisturbed.
From your discussions, you can establish rules. However, in the early days as you settle in, you will also need to revisit those practices. You may need adjustments before a routine is established. The point is to communicate and solve difficulties together.
The key to working well together is to try and work in separate spaces. Also, ideally your workspaces should be separated from your living, relaxation and sleeping spaces. This may be more challenging if you are in a small apartment or live with a revolving door of roommates or family. Avoid setting up shop in the bedroom. The bedroom needs to be a place where you just chat, sleep or be romantic.
If you simply must work in close proximity or the same room, define the area for each person and ensure ways to achieve the privacy necessary to collaborate with work colleagues and also get tasks done without interruptions. Each space must be functional and personal. Decide your home office basics so that each person can set up in their comfortable space day after day.
You will both need separate storage space. Define which products are to be shared, and which cannot be. Some tech items may be off limits and some you may have to share. Will you share headphones, a wireless keyboard, or an iPad as an external second monitor?
Here’ a suggestion: Visit co-working spaces and see what appeals to you most. Was it the lighting, the lack of distraction, unlimited refreshments? Try to replicate those favorites or vibes at home.
Determining rules will help you and your partner avoid the moments of confusion and frustration that can occur when there are no limits or boundaries to guide decisions and behaviors. Remember that as you settle into a routine or work schedule, you may have to review what works and what didn't which may result in new rules.
Since your commute is a thing of the past, the question is, when does your day start? The most important thing is to avoid waking in the working and both making a beeline for your desk. You need time to relax and tune-in before the day kicks in.
You still need morning routine and rituals. When you were commuting you had a system for the morning routine. It may have been dependent on personal needs, obligations at work, commuting time, or children. Do you want to keep to that morning routine or switch to a more relaxed pace? You no longer need to debate about make-up, what’s best to wear, or if there is time to iron a shirt before you leave. You don’t need to warm the car up, pack a lunch, or leave early to stop for gas. You won’t have that mad dash to sit next to a smelly person on the bus or line up for another morning coffee. Breakfast together might be a good substitute for those types of hassles. Me-time is always good. You might even find time for a morning walk.
Decide on the most mutually beneficial time to wake up. Decide how many alarms you set and if one person is responsible for waking the other in time for meetings or work obligations. Decide who gets the shower and when. Who will make coffee, breakfast, walk the dog, or do morning tasks?
Create a morning ritual that allows time for both of you to have prep time to get ready without a rush and get at least one or things achieved, even if it is only basking in the sunshine for five minutes, doing the morning crossword, or making your bed. Morning rituals – doing some of the same things every morning, will create balance and help both of you feel fresh, ready and prepared. Your ritual should include starting work on time.
Some nomads call it sanity time. The seasoned nomads concurred that a relaxed morning routine was also vital. They also said things like:
A clock wakes us up and our morning routine is the first point on the compass that guides us through an excellent day.
Our morning routine sets us on the track to work smart.
We should all have that quality time to feed our souls and our relationship.
We made it a point to enjoy mornings that lean to the predictable and the positive. For me the having consistency and tranquility early in the day frees up headspace. The ritual of getting something done for myself and for my family is a great way to connect to my why and get energized for my day.
Your work-from-home schedules may differ. For a free-lancer, things might be much more client-based or different on a day-by-day basis. Your start time could be based on an employer’s deadlines, when your team can collaborate and for how long, or outreach needs. Does one of you have meetings based on different time zones? Is the start time of the business day non-negotiable? Are there regular business meetings that are scheduled without fail?
Determine a time to begin work, take a lunch break, and call it quits for the work day. Your time table should start early enough to have a daily morning meeting with your spouse prior to actual work beginning. Consider the inclusion of activity breaks, time to run errands, walk a pet, or tend to the needs of children, if you have any. The busy couples from our research did not quit a 5:00 pm on the dot. They were still doing things until six or later because they chose to take healthy breaks during the day.
Many of our digital nomad couples reiterated that when they first started working together they were so caught up in the newness and excitement of working from home and together they botched some of their together time by not having conversations that were not work related. They had to learn to make time the necessary work-type conversations and keep them separate from their personal relationship. Therefore, consider blocking time for these various conversations in your schedule.
Most of our couples agreed that their nightly routine did not change. They already had an end time for reading, watching Netflix or being on social media. When they began working together from home, they knew there was work to be done the next day. They agreed on how important it was to pick a bed-time,
Two other things they said: First, once you fine-tune your daily routine, keep it consistent. Second remember it is perfectly okay to laugh or take afternoon walks together. Be spontaneous where schedules allow or put it on your schedule, just do something other than work side by side during working hours.
Start your business day having a morning meeting with your spouse or significant other. Ensure that the meeting takes place every business day without fail. Make sure it is constructive feedback you are sharing and that you are kind to each other in these conversations:
When work does not follow a fixed schedule, avoid confusion and conflict by taking a minute the night before to be clear about any plans set for the following day. This is the time to communicate with your partner about tomorrow should look like and understand what you can expect of your partner’s schedule.
A shared calendar is the best solution to track each other’s daily work schedules. It shows when you are available, unreachable or immersed in work. Document which meetings are by phone and which are by video so each partner knows what to expect and can behave accordingly.
Designate a 'Do Not Disturb' place or time for when each of you need absolute focus to meet a deadline, focus on a project, or collaborate with colleagues or clients without interruption.
Find ways to demonstrate when you are available for interruption. For instance, sitting at the dining room table could mean you are taking care of emails and other lighter tasks that can handle a pause. A closed door means, “I’m concentrating!” When there is no door use something visible as a sign that you need absolute privacy. It is easy to positioning a flag or book, or hang a sign over a chair that says, “Come back later. Knock on the wall or ring the bell, if it is an emergency.”
Determine if you have adequate power outlets in the room you are working in for all devices being used or charged. Maybe you will have to run an extension cord from another room so as to not overload a circuit. If so choose one that doesn’t tangle or pose a risk to someone walking nearby.
Decide on a lighting configuration that works for both of you. Be mindful of how your partner’s needs. Talk about if starting the day off with bright lights will wake you both up or if it is annoying. Discuss the use of lamps, overhead lights or light coming from the window, and how each of you can utilize the best light for particular projects. Consider candles for cozy vibes.
Talk it out to agree on comfortable temperatures for different times of the day. You might consider opening a window or using a fan for air flow. Luckily, the closet should be in the next room so each of you can dress appropriately to accommodate a partner’s needs.
Decide if you will play music to cut though the silence, when there are no meetings. If one of you requires motivating tunes, noise-canceling headphones are ideal.
To work smart you both need frequent rest and relaxation breaks. Work those into your individual routines and also make time to spend some relaxation breaks together. They can be changed up to suit your needs as a couple and for enjoyment.
Are you drinking water? It helps you feel energized and less lethargic. Working with one person or alone, it can sometimes be easy to forget to consume water to avoid dehydration. If you opt for another cup of coffee, make sure you are consuming just as much water to counterbalance over over-caffeination. Lack of proper hydration can alter moods.
Think about if you want to limit romance during the workday. Think about what you’re envisioning for your relationship. Most couples found it easier to separate work from their relationship when they were working from home. They held hands when they walked or shared laughs or hugs, but they steered clear of the bedroom during working hours. They maintained their professional obligations and work persona during work and when the bell signaled the end of day they goofed off to enjoy hobbies or chill out together with an intimate dinners or date night.
Ergonomic Comfort: Make comfortable ergonomic chairs the priority purchase. You do not need a huge budget and designer furnishing to make the space functional and comfortable. Innovation has resulted in some amazing, practical office spaces. A fresh coat of paint, good lighting, a live plant, and individual touches can cheer up any space. But chairs are important. Some companies will have a budget for that. Check if that is an option for you.
While tensions may be high, try to give your partner the same basic level of courtesy and tolerance you would give a coworker if your boss were on the premises.
Sharing the same workspace and being together 24/7 could cause strain. Once your home becomes the workplace it can be a challenge to stop talking about work after the workday is done. Whether you’re living with your partner, spouse, relative, sibling, best friend or domestic partner, we all know how crucial it is for any relationship to talking about non-work things.
Psychologists sum up the central task of a marriage as “the management of differences”. When you work away from home the separation for 8-12 hours helps couples manage their differences. Differences may become magnified when a couple is together 24/7. Whether you’re living and working with your partner, spouse, relative, sibling, best friend or domestic partner.
The obligatory morning meeting is one of the best ways to manage your differences. However, it should not be the only time you acknowledge and enjoy each other’s presence. A smile, a wink or a wave of support can tell your partner that “I’m glad you are here with me.” Even short activity breaks or a quick hug while getting coffee can significantly reduce the stress of working in the same room.
Here are some keen suggestions from our remote working pros on how to keep your home life alive:
Here are 12 key choices that can lead to you working brilliantly and achieving what you truly desire from a work-from-home lifestyle, while having a well-grounded and flourishing home life.
Your home office should be more than a spot on the couch where your Wi-Fi is strong. Go for comfortable and functional, and a place where you feel inspired, focused and motivated.
Every remote working professional has to learn to balance the working-from-home tips for success with how to feel great in both mind and body. The best time to get started taking care of you is right now.
You have what most working parents dream of – no commute, no office distractions - It’s just you, a comfortable home office, and the opportunity to spend more time with your kids.
